The Last Marauder
by Chasing-Blibbering-Humdingers
Summary: Remus's perspective as Sirius fell through the veil, and his reaction as to losing the last of his best friends. Allusions to Remus/ Tonks relationship later in the series. Angst.


**A/N: I own nothing. This is all in JKR's wonderful world. **_  
_

**I just had the idea when re-reading OotP the other day, and was devastated all over again by Sirius's death.**

**Hope you like it!**

**Remus's POV:**

_My best friend is dead._

Try having to tell yourself that as a battle rages on around you. Your whole world shatters, but you still have to stay focused, see through the broken pieces of what is left and carry on. Shoot spells, dodge them, and protect those you had come to save,

It was supposed to be a rescue mission. Perhaps Harry had inherited his father and godfather's stubborn personality and grudge against Snape. Perhaps, if Sirius and I had stressed the importance of learning Occlumency to Harry more, he would not have been vulnerable to Voldemort's attacks. Or, if Dumbledore had gotten another teacher for Harry, he might have actually had the will to learn…But there was not time for me to think about what could have been or the contributing factors as Bellatrix's curse collided with Sirius's chest and he began his descent through the veil. This was now not a rescue mission for Harry, but my long-time best friend. He had to be saved. I just had to follow him through the decaying archway. I thought I could hear Sirius calling to me from it, anyway…

Then, I remembered where we were, the Death Chamber in the Department of Mysteries. The Order had spent nearly the entirety of the past year trying to learn everything we could about the Department of Mysteries. I knew exactly where that archway led (though I did not want to believe it), and that Sirius could not be saved.

_My best friend is dead…_

Albus Dumbledore had just arrived, and even he couldn't save Sirius as he crossed from our world to the next. For some reason I had maintained the boyish delusion that as long as Dumbledore was there, everything would work out in the end. After all, he had given me new purpose in my life three times over: letting me be a student, a teacher, and a member of the Order of the Phoenix. In a world where people with my… condition were treated the way they were, Dumbledore had seemed an unwavering place of shelter and protection.

And yet…

Sirius still fell straight through that archway, to a place so very far away.

It had been a long time since I had seen Sirius as alive as he was just then, dueling the deranged Bellatrix. He was as free-spirited as the black hound he had learned to transform into the keep me company as a teenager during full moon. I knew that he was all but pacing and howling at the doors in that house of his parents'. It was like keeping a dog in a crate. When I was young, I had been locked in rooms before my transformation. Afterwords they were usually completely ravaged. So I knew the feeling of being a wild dog locked up. I had seen the excitement flare in Sirius's eyes amidst the worry when we heard what Harry had done. He convinced us he had to come, despite our protests. Who were we to decline him rescuing his own godson? He probably wouldn't have taken no as an answer anyway. Sirius was always stubborn.

He had been stubborn in his beliefs particularly. He remained obstinate in hatred for Death Eaters and Gryffindor pride, despite his family's warnings and beatings. He had remained so different from his family, in fact, that he had been dueling his own cousin when…it…happened. That cousin had let out a triumphant scream when she conquered one of her own.

I had found myself moving towards the dais, ready to give up myself. I didn't have the will to fight anymore, and knew I couldn't take on Bellatrix just then. I had other plans in mind. James, Lily, and now Sirius…all gone. Dead. Moved on without me. Peter was worse than dead to me. He was the reason Sirius had lost 12 years of his life, and James and Lily the rest of theirs. Surely, the Order could continue without me? I felt a tug in my chest and thought of Nymhadora- well, Tonks. She despised her first name. Whatever she wished to be called, I cared for her a great deal, but surely she could deal without me? I would be no benefit to her anyway.

A werewolf can't stay sane in this world without their friends…_So perhaps I should join mine…_I thought. Memories of the good old days when everything made sense and the Marauders ruled the grounds of Hogwarts at night ran through my mind. I ached to see them again. I kept running.

But then, another person seemed to be making a similar venture to the veil. Harry was just a few feet ahead of me, and I felt my stomach sink. Was he going to go straight through the veil as well, hoping to get Sirius? Harry was fifteen, the Chosen One, the son of James and Lily…my friend. This wasn't right. He had to live. He had to be stopped. So I wrapped my arms around his chest and held him back from the veil. I held on despite his struggling, told him Sirius was gone, and then something occurred to me.

Harry had lost nearly everything: his parents, his childhood, and now his godfather. I could practically hear James pleading with me in my head to stay, to watch over his son. Harry needed me, and I needed him to stay tethered to this world. Hard though it might be, I couldn't give up. I held onto Harry as he screamed in anguish, for the both of us. Sirius wouldn't have wanted me to forfeit my life. That I knew. Grudgingly, I obeyed him, and did not follow him through the archway.

As I tried to comfort and restrain Harry, I thought about the state of the world. The screaming boy who had lost so much, and the pink-haired woman, injured on the floor, reminded me that there were still some people in this world for me. But I was the last of four mischief makers. I was the last true Marauder left in the world, and I knew I had to make the Death Eaters pay for what they had done.

I solemnly swore that I was up to no good.


End file.
